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Today was one of those pretty good days.
But I'm sleepy. So I decided not to blog about
it yet. I need good photographs. Sigh. I keep
taking photos of everyone else. LOL. Well,
Just one thing to say though, I'd chose teenage
drama over adult drama any day. Comparing
politics between like church teens and that
whole Aware thing. I'd rather not grow up.
Seems like the older you get, the less forgiving
you become. In fact you become more petty,
more suspicious, more unreasonable. Look at
the way politicians quarrel and create big
deals out of a small matter or the way adults
always kick up a big fuss cos everyone thinks
that what they're doing is right. Sigh. I always
think their 'violent objections' to whatever
and the way they handle problems is really
unnecessarily fierce and oh well, you know
what I mean. And mostly, adults don't listen.
Well, I'd rather stay a teen then. Or maybe,
the generations are changing. Who knows?

Oh and Paris Hilton's My New BFF is the
weirdest show. She really seems bitchy in it.
Which can't be good for her right? And they've
got two male contestants, both gay. I don't think
that's really good to be publicizing either. What
with the whole homosexual problems nowadays,
it's better just to lay low. Hmmm...
You know what I'm yearning for right now?
Salmon. And potato salad. And those vegetables
that my mum cooks, which are heavenly.

Well, that's my cue. Time for bed.

Labels: life

I stayed in school for night study today.
Kinda fun and really productive. I'm studying
for ss mid years currently, which is next week
Haha. So far, I've only covered globalization.
I made notes and read it on the bus ride back.
Lol. Had English prelim oral today. Haha,
english oral is fun. I love it. But somehow, my
voice always sounds trembly. Sigh. I love
night study. They should have it every night.
It gives me an extra 2 hours to study in school.
Cos it ends at 8.30pm. Not late but quite
enough I think. I can't exactly mug for that
long either. Hmmm, got lessons tomorrow morning.
Sigh. A math and Chemistry. Then I'll probably
come home and continue mugging. Oh wait, I
have tuition homework that I need to chiong.
Lol. It's too much to leave for sunday. So I'll
start tomorrow. Stress is making break out in
pimples. Sigh. And I honestly think I'll put on
weight during 'O's. Before mainly. Since I'll be
eating so much junk while studying and I keep
mugging so I won't be burning off calories either.
I think I needa keep track of myself. No chips :D
Oh well, I think I'll sleep. :D

Labels: life, school

I think juniors are weird.
Sec1s are the freakiest.
Like they are super excited looking all the time.
I think they haven't got over the excitement
that they're finally in secondary school lol.
I was probably like that, but oh well,
the saving grace is that it's only a phase...
Oh and someone PLEASE tell sec1s to type in
PROPER english. You know, like spelling every
word out and actually structuring sentences.
Cos I realised, reading paragraphs after
paragraphs of short forms 1: makes me feel
woozy. 2: It makes the person seem as if
they have no idea how to spell anything ever.
3: the whole post sounds retarded. 4: the person
sounds dumb. I wish someone told me that back
then. Then maybe I wouldn't feel like puking
every time I read my sec1 posts.

Yeah. Sec1s panic about everything.
Are excited about everything.
It's really kinda freaky.
Sec2s are still weird, though not as bad.
By the time you hit sec3, you're fine.
Unless your blouse to skirt ratio is still 20:80.
Lol. The accents are the worst.
You know, the bimbotic american accent.
That kind is realllyyyy scary.
Imagine trying to study on a bus while one
of these sits behind you and jabbers all the way.
Yes, pure nightmare.

Chinese prelim oral tomorrow.
I need to pass. So wish me luck, I need it.

Labels: life

It's late.
Hands tick with warning,
Stumbling in the morning.
In the house all is still,
The only sounds are silence.
Steady breathing in the nursery,
The children slumber in peace,
The husband and wife warm,
Arms intertwined, they lie in tranquil,
The small room at the end,
Lights glow under the door,
She has not yet retreated to her bed,
Only 15 but carrying the world's stresses,
Furiously completing all that's assigned,
While the blankets beckon.

It's late,
She succumbs,
Tomorrow will be a new day.

Labels: life, poems

Ok, this will be a quick one.
Yesterday was absolutely exhausting.
I woke up at 5.30am to iron both school uniform
AND full u. Then I gave Geraldine a lift and we
went to school for Speech Day, That was about 7.30am.
It ended at around 11.30am then we met at NP room
and went to tiong for lunch. Lol. BK again. I think I'm
gonna get fat, seriously. Wayyy too much fast
food. So we got back around around 2.30pm. And
had to chiong and change, take attendence, check
uniform and whatnot. Then off to HTA. HAHA
for my supposedly last NPAP. Supposedly. As a cadet.
Yeah. It was brilliant but a little sad cos quite a few
people fell out. including a CC. Yeah but the fancy drills
was AMAZING. Super coordinated and everything.
It flowed so well that it almost looked more like a dance.
It was damn good. Crescent should aim for that standard
really. Then on the bus ride back we were suppperrr high.
About everything possible. Mostly POP. We got back and
chionged to change. Then I grabbed my stuff and met my
parents outside school and went to my grandma's house,
which is in the east coast. LOL. I felt super disgusting
what with all the sweat and the humidity. AND I didn't get
home until 11+pm. LOL. AND I finally got to shower.
Felt super relieved. Lol, ok. I gotta sleep. School tomorrow
and it's late.

Labels: life, NPCC

Victoria is -_-" -_-" right now.
Yeah, I just read some sec1 cadets' blogs.
Kinda -_-" Some self-proclaimed, hide-from
ma'ams-when-I-see-them-so-don't-needa-greet
person. Please lah, we're not blind can.
We can see you from across the canteen.
Anyway, the sec2s corporal promo was today.
I'm not going to comment though, because
they might read this.

Yeah so only reached home
at 8.15 then I ate and showered and went to
the clubhouse to study. Beatrice and Glen are pure
madness. LOL. And we were begging Glen to
take us along when he goes to Rome at the end
of this year. AND he's gonna tour Europe. Stupid ass.
LOL. Haha, and we offered to help him move his
stuff out when he shifts to another apartment
in the estate temporarily to let his place get
renovated. It'll be super fun. And they didn't
chase us out today. We stayed until 11.20 then
walked back. I only reached home at 11.30 though,
cos we stopped at Glen's block to talk. But I managed
to kind of finish studying Electrolysis. Kinda.

Speech day is this saturday. So we, the sec4s, have
been required to attend. They say its got meaning and
blah but I think they just need an audience.
School gets out early tomorrow. 12.30! The best news
ever. I get to miss 2 and a half hours of normal lessons.
NPAP is saturday night. I might go. Might. Then I gotta
spend sunday cramming for all the stupid tests for next
week, like chem mock and whatnot. Sigh. I never studied
so much ever. Had lit test today. I wrote 6 paragraphs,
non-stop for 50 minutes. Quite happy, since I just
borrowed Dian's notes just before to memorise quotes.
That saved me.

Ok, I think I'll go sleep now.

Haha, I just spent two hours on the phone with Zh.
I was helping her with A maths and she was
helping me memorise for ss test tomorrow.
Lol. And we were discussing NP related stuff too.
Had First class drill badge on monday. FINALLY,
its over. I'm kinda relieved. I can only hope that I
passed. Yup. I suddenly feel inspired to polish my
boots. LOL. Anyway, Hmmm. Lots of stuff has
been happening lately, but I can't really remember
it. Too much happening in little bits and pieces.
Oh no. My full u hasn't been washed. Damn.
I need it on thursday. I just realised I'll be free on
thursdayyy. Like no promo, no squad to take.
Sounds brilliant, I'm looking forward to it.
Sigh, I've been doing some stupid things lately I think.

Haha, I met Justin and Glen on the 132 today while I
was on my way for tuition. Lol, they were going for tuition
too. So funny. And I paid Glen for my share of Lizzie's
present. They got her Build A Bear! Can you believe it.
Cos after everyone pooled in money it amounted to
about 70 bucks. And apparently, they spent 20 bucks
on a card that talked. Lol. Hilarious.
Argh, I'm craving for Macs now. I don't know why.
Well, that's my cue to sleep. Nights.

Labels: life, NPCC

I can't imagine it.
I can only see myself in the previous situation.
In this, I find it hard.
I suppose you could say its because
I haven't yet decided to give it a chance.
And I admit that.
But I don't want to do what I did before.
No, I can't. And I think perhaps,
there'll be too much I'm putting at stake.
Funny though, how people are supporting
my decision, but I don't feel the satisfaction
or the happiness or the comfort from that.
It's not the fault of the people. I think that
it's just me. I guess I keep doing these stupid things.
And somehow, I feel better doing them
Damnit, wth is wrong with me.

Labels: life

I torture myself.
Mentally, emotionally.
I don't want to let go.
Pure stupidity, some may call it.
My only defense is that I'm a girl.
Even then, it often doesn't apply.
Looks like I'm losing this battle aren't I?
Why do I watch romance movies
with extremely happy endings?
Because for two hours, I can pretend that's me.
I need what I can't get.
A terrible feeling of nothingness.
I don't know what to do.
I can't force you and I won't try.
I can only wish, so hard that it hurts.
I hate myself for all this.
But I can't, and I don't want to.
And I don't know if I've got it right.
I don't know if I"m handling this the best way.
And damnit, I miss you.
And I hate myself for that.
If I could be angry, and hate you for it,
it'd be so much easier.
But I can't, I can't.
I can't

Labels: life

Someone help me please.
Every day I'm sinking deeper.
I don't know, I don't know.
I hate myself.
And I'm angry, with myself.
I'm not getting better.
I don't want to.
I don't want to let go.
I don't want to.
You know what happens when I start thinking?
I start wishing for things. It's so bad
that it hurts. It's even worse if I start remembering.
It's painful to even begin thinking.
But I can't help it. I really can't.
It plagues my mind.
Fills my existence.
And I feel like crying, destroying things,
But that isn't the worse of it.
It isn't.
And it gets worse every day.

Labels: life

I just watched The Duchess.
Watched it online, and I didn't realise it was M18.
Lol. I knew it couldn't be PG13 but oh well.
I cried though. It was so so so so sad.
And it was a true story!
I don't like the ending though.
I think Giorgiana should have been with Charles Grey.
Anyway, it was a good movie.
Really, interesting.
Yeah, I recommend it (:

Labels: life

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