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Much has happened.
Kind of, like I suspected.
But not really blog-able material.
I'd rather not broadcast some parts of my life.

I'm really saving on the handphone bills,
BUT, my house phone bills will be er..haha.
Yeah. About the same time every night.
I start my marathon conversations on the phone
and on MSN. Haha. I think I've been averaging on
4 hours on the house phone everyday.
More depending on how many people I call. Haha

Well, thats what happens when
I can't go for training,
can't play the piano,
can't play the guitar,
can't go out.
Yup.
technically, I can go out,
BUT my parents won't allow.
Something about me being too weak or something.
Lol.
Annoying. I hate worrying people,
And being a burden.
Annoys the hell out of me.
I rather be left alone to deal with myself.
I really don't want to worry anyone.
Sigh. But nevermind about that.

Maybe I'll sleep early today.
Make someone happy.
lol.

Labels: life

OK.
The Bicol trip has NOT been cancelled.
Phew.
So that's settled.

I think rumours in church will be
getting more prevalent.
Nah, I'm not elaborating on that.

Adults take everything too seriously.
They should just chillout and relax.
And I think when adults bitch about each
other, its way meaner.
They need to enjoy life,
try new things,
take risks.
Then maybe they'd understand us.
Its always rules rules rules.
Which is boring.
I mean, what's life without fun?
Ah nevermind.
it's only 6pm.
Much can happen from now till bedtime.

Labels: life

The world is spinning around in circles.
And its not because I have dizzy spells.
I don't anymore anyway.
At least I didn't have any yesterday or today.

You know, I'm tired of the whole accident thing.
I just want us all to get better.
I don't care who's to blame or what crap.
I don't want revenge or whatever.
I want peace.
And now even the Bicol trip may be cancelled.
I only have one thing to say to adults right now.

"Don't raise a kid's hope unless you're absolutely sure
they won't end up disappointed."

It's really simple. Disappointment is one of the most
horrible feelings ever. Too much of it can probably
destroy a person.

I think the incident has been blown out of proportion.
And its not the kids fault either. Personally,
I like to solve everything calmly and peacefully.
Somehow it seems that adults have problems admitting
to their mistakes. Sigh. I don't wanna grow up if I'm
gonna become like that. I think we're just being us,
how mature can you expect 15 year olds to be?
I rather be a kid. I'm just really tired.

Every morning for the past week, I wake up
to the sound of one of my parents on the phone telling
someone about the blah blah, and more blah blah blah.
And they get angry with someone.
Then they get angry with everyone.
I can't understand how people can be that angry.
I just can't be bothered.

Every time I go online I have to tell
someone else about the blah blah. cos they haven't
heard about it yet. Sigh.
The difference is that I don't get angry I guess.

And you know, I don't want people to be nice to me
BECAUSE I got injured. If anyone's doing that now,
please stop. If you don't like me, just continue not liking me.
I don't mind.

Two more things that I'm looking forward to.
and it better happen cos I'm tired of
disappointments. Youth Conference and
Pre-confirmation Party.
And Geraldine, if I have to talk to your dad
so you can go, I will.
And I'm talking about your real dad.
You know what I mean.

Right now, I'm done. I'll probably have more to
update later.

Labels: life

I think my parents are going to find a
significant increase in the house phone bill.
Oops, my bad. Well, my sis is kinda
contributing to it too. But most of the
time its me. I guess they rather that than
me using my handphone. Oh well. I'm becoming
an expert at typing like this.
Just 5 fingers and one thumb.
Plus, I'm still talking online to some people.
Up to 5 people mostly? Haha.
Depending on the day.
Lol. My sis got her Macbook today.
Haha, I'm not jealous.
Really, I have no idea how to use a Mac,
If its different and anyway, I love my tablet.
Haha. It's the best for taking notes.
(:
Yeah. I think I may be getting a job!
Tutoring a kid who's going to Pri1 next year.
Yup. he needs english lessons. (:
20 bucks a lesson.
Intensive so its 4 times a week.
Until school starts.
So thats actually quite a good bit of money.
Haha, but we'll see how it works out.
May or may not get the job.
But I AM kinda desperate to replenish
the cash that I've wasted. Or spent without
remembering on what.
Lol.
I kinda really achieved something this year.
I lost weight.
About 4-5kg. Not sure.
That's kinda miraculous.
I'm damn happy.
If I can lose a litttllllle bit more,
it'll be perfect. Yeah.
But chillout. I'm not starving myself.
I mean, come on, I definitely don't look anywhere
near anorexic. Yeah. I don't intend on being either.
Lol.
Well then, I've got Confirmation rehearsal tomorrow,
Then I'll go for mass with Geraldine.
Then got a family BBQ at my cousin's place.
And damnit, I can't perm my hair.
My mum said it'll sting my wound.
sigh. Wonder why she wouldn't even let me do a
temporary one. Ideas anyone?

Labels: life

I was re-reading the get well cards I got.
Geraldine owes me a treat.
and Ivan owes me Ben&Jerry's!
Haha.
I'm feeling better actually.
Everything doesn't hurt as much.
One thing thats still quite prevalent
are the dizzy spells I've been getting.
I can just be sitting there and suddenly,
I feel really dizzy.
Sigh.
It really feels weird.
And showering with only one hand is no joke.
Sigh.
Oh yeah. Thank you to everyone for getting me the gifts (:
The two teddy bears.
The balloons.
The bouquet,
The sunflowers,
The twinemen,
The goodluck knot,
the sparkling ribena!
Haha.
I love them all really.

On to something more serious.
I believe everything happens for a reason.
And this accident would have meant something different for everyone.

Maybe to some it could have been a sign,
to stop wasting away their life and start living it before its too late.

To some, it could make them treasure the people around them more,
cos you never know when you might lose someone.

To future camp-organisers, it could be a warning to make sure
that camp rules should never be that lax,

To the drunk driver, it could be a wake up call
to stop fooling around because fun has limits,
and he crossed it and now look what has happened.

To some it could be, don't sit on the road,
no matter what time it is.

There are an infinite amount of what ifs out there.
what if we were all asleep,
what if he wasn't drunk,
what if we were still in the toilet,
what if the vehicles weren't there...

but I wouldn't think about that.
I'd listen to Cornelius from Meet The Robinsons.
KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
Just concentrate on getting everyone better.
Learn from this,
improve in the future.

Bad things happen.
But good things happen too.
And God would have never challenged you...
If he thought you couldn't handle it. :D

Labels: life

There are a lot of things to blog about.
But when I only use 6 fingers, its a little
more than tiring. I wanna thank everyone
who has visited me, whether in the hospital
or at home and called me during this time.
Cos all of you brightened up my day,
and the more I saw people knew, the more
I felt alive. More than 30 of you has taken
time out to visit me, call me.
And believe me, you couldn't have made me any happier.

Labels: life

I'm sitting here at home (finally), one day late,
typing this with one and a half hands,
because my left middle finger is fractured,
and my index finger and ring finger
on either ides of it are being used as
natural splints to help it heal.
So they're all kinda bandaged together.
my upper left arm is kinda swollen and scratched
my elft shoulder is pretty badly bruised
so it looks kinda gross. The left side of my face
is bruised and swollen and I've got a cut on my head.
All this because some $%@#! worker (I will not swear,
I just went for confession) decided to get drunk
and take an All Terrain Vehicle out for a joy ride.
But let me tell you this, I'm the luckiest of us three.
I'm already at home. Erika's ankle got run over,
it's an open fracture, so she's gonna be in the
hospital for another three days cos the docs
gotta make sure it doesn't get infected.
Shannen is heavily sedated. The worst of us,
she got hit straight on. She's still in the ICU,
and she'll need all the prayers she can get.

Perhaps, I should tell the whole story.
It was about 2am and we were awake,
sorry, got interuppted, Chadwyn called.
We were like high, being crazy, cos it was
the last night of our last church camp.
Then we wanted to sleep already then
Geraldine needed to brush her teeth so me,
Joanna and Kimberley followed her.
As she was finishing we went outside the toilet
and saw, I think it was Erika and Shannen, sitting
on the road in the compound of the camp,
and talking so we were like "hey,
lets go sit there too." we were sitting there for less then
2 minutes i think when suddenly we saw
that damn vehicle coming towards us really fast.
The first thing i thought was "shit, there's something
wrong, that car's going wayyy to fast" Something was
gripping me, it was pure fear. I knew something was wrong.
It didn't slow down or anything, it was going crazily fast.
Geraldine, Kim, and Joanna got away safely, I saw Shannen
get hit and a split second later, I blacked out.
It was as if i was watching a movie, with everything in
slow motion. That's all I remember. If you want to know what
happened after we got hit, ask the other eye witnesses,
i can't remember a thing.

All I got to say now is pray for Erika and Shannen.
I'll be fine, I'll heal. So will Erika and Shannen,
it's just that, Shannen needs a little more help
getting through this. I don't care what religion you are,
please just pray for them. We're only 15.
Please.

Labels: life

I'm going for Confirmation Retreat tomorrow.
I'm not exactly looking forward to it?
Don't feel like packing.
I'm tired of packing for camps.
It's so...
Anyway. Haha. I'll miss my weekend.
):
Then there's training on monday.
And I have to polish my boots.
Damnit.
Omg.
Remembered that there's class outing on monday too.
Dunno if I'll go.
I'll ask Vivien and Panda if they're going.
Then I probably will too.
Yeah.
I hope I benefit from this camp.
Or I'll demand a refund.
Paid $100 for it.
I'm not letting that go to waste.
Recession now leh. Still think people so rich.
$100 can buy 25 Macs student meals.
Anyway.
I think I'll sleep now.
And wake up early tomorrow to write an essay
and pack my bag.
Yay.
I'm tired.
I WILL play the piano tomorrow morning.
Annoy the neighbours-Muahahahaha.

Labels: life

"Will have her no praised."
Do't asked me what that means,
I just randomly pulled it out of my head.

Labels: life

I want to write a book.
Again.
Sigh.
Wonder when I'll ever finish a project that I start.

Labels: life

I phone still dieded.
Luckily, it's still on warranty so
it gets repaired for free :D
Sigh, but my dad says if its a
software problem there's a chance
it'll die again, so we'll see what happens
when his vouchers come.
Hmmm. Oh well. When Ikea (again)
with Jiaxuan, Simin and Geraldine this time.
Lol. No lunch for me at home.
Haha. I was late for training.
Dunno what happened to that stupid old alarmclock.

Labels: life

What have I done the entire weekend.
Hmmm.
I practiced piano. Alot.
I did A maths homework.
I went to Ikea and bought starry lights!



















Haha. thats. my bed, and wall, with the poster collage and the lights!
I love it to bits. Haha. It looks really pretty.
Haha. Oh yes. Anyone know where to buy a beanbag?
The biggg sort which can sit in.
I want one. Haha. I got some pictures. which I couldn't upload he last time.
Lets see.















Liana, Geraldine and Hazirah. Making milo. Lol!














The sparkling grape juice.














That's my friend, in my room. Really. House bunny?
Lol. I think not :D



















Haha. TRANSYLVANIA
Anyway, I hardly did anything today.
Watched Step Up 2 again.
Damn I love that show.
I'm so inspired to dance.
Sigh. In that case I hate being busy.
Training tomorrow...
Sigh. Haha. I'm gonna help Geraldine look for her confi dress.
Confi is exactly THREE WEEKS away.
Damn. I better have most of my homework done by then.
Sigh.
I don't want to take 'O's.
Damn, damn, damn.
I better practice not using profanities in the house.
My mum will murder me, if Nicole starts.
Sigh.

Labels: life

Labels: life

Someone told me something very interesting yesterday.
Unfortunately, I won't be telling you.
It's about my life anyway.
I am dead tired.
I didn't sleep until 4am.
Oh well. Proposal, proposal.
lol. more tomorrow

Labels: life

Omg today quite hilarious. Lol
I woke up at 7.30am, and panicked cos I was late.
Lol, and I only woke up cos Aishah called me.
If she didn't I would have never woken up.
Lol.
Then I rushed around getting stuff.
And I didn't feel like eating anything the fridge,
So I decided to buy breakfast a cheers.
And my dad gave me extra money(:
Haha.
Anyway, I was late, by 15 min+
AND ONLY ZHUANG HUA WAS THERE.
Haha, EVERYONE was late. then we started planning ROD.
I mean continued.
Lol. Then we got hungry and Liana had a stomach ache.
So we used the leftover rations haha!
Eight packets of milo,
three packets of maggi,
two cans of curry chicken
and two cans of sardines.
Haha. Damn fun. Then Zakiah and Rubini came from their class chalet
and they brought sparkling grape juice.
SOMEONE sponsored, cos someone getting married. lol.
Haha.
Then after that, I re-did my shoelaces.
Haha. Looks interesting and complicated now, Liana helped me.
Oh then we did fancy drills.
We choreographed the entire thing in 2 hours.
We're doing it to Dance Floor Anthem. Its damn nice.
Lol. I've fallen in love with the song Transylvania.
That's the theme for ROD! Haha.
I some how ended up doing the planning. Oh well.
geraldine came up with the theme. Haha.
Argh, I have yet to bake cookies.
Lollllll.
Gtg do proposal now.
(I tried to upload photos but blogger is being annoying.)

Labels: life

I overslept by one and a half hours.
I think I'm getting oblivious to my alarm clock.
damn. thats not good.

Labels: life

I just watched Disturbia on HBO.
The one with Shia LeBeouf. HAHA.
I think he's damn cute. Lol.
And Disturbia is damn cool.
HAHA. And I got a new favourite song!
Love For A Child by Jason Mraz.
It's really meaningful. HAHA. I knew
the song existed since quite a long time ago
BUT I haven't listened to it properly till now.
Lol. My parents went for my sis's primary 6
graduation concert thingy. Lol.
And they didn't allow siblings to go,
only parents. Damn mean right.
That's why I'm at home now.
HAHA. R.O.D.! Probably will be at the END of december!
THAT actually means that I don't need to reschedule
the 'operation' and I could go for the youth conference thingy
If I wanted. Haha. Maybe I ask Geraldine to go with me.
But must sign up I think.
Sigh. Tiring.
Ohhh wellll. Haha.
OMG. My parents just came back and they said loads of
people brought their families?
OMG. NOT FAIRRRR.
ARGH.
lol.

Labels: life.

My plan for today, well, yesterday, since its 2am alrd,
didn't exactly get carried out. Lol, cos my mum
forgot to wake me up. Sigh. Lol. Gotta go to school
tomorrow, do the proposal stuff.
I got stuck being the one to bring tablet.
Sigh. Nevermind. I meeting Geraldine early
to do homework in school. Haha.
My holiday homework is progressing!
Slowly, but I AM doing it. I think I'll do some
english tomorrow. And the never ending A math.
I'm aboutttt 1/3 through. Once I finish A math
I'll start on E math. I have yet to find out
what the homework is for the sciences.
Nothing for lit I think? And geog?
I can' t remember. And I'll have to start on
chinese sooner or later. Sigh, as much as I don't want to.
I just realised I have to be up in 3 hours. Argh.

Labels: life

Had training this morning. Lol, took bus to school. I was early! :D
Haha. Yeah, so fancy drills blah blah.My wrists are damn tired.
Anyway, we OT today. Supposed to end at 1 pm today.
But me, Mok, Zak and Simin stayed to discuss things with
CIs. (correction: CI and HO) Anyway, yeah.
Did some scavenger hunt thingy they were preparing
for some Alumni cadets thing. Interesting.
Lol. You're probably confused. I think only I understand
what I'm talking about. Lol. Then we,(me, Mok, Zak, Simin)
went to Tiong to continue discussing stuff. That was at 4pm.
Ate at LJ. Mok treated me to half my meal! Yay!
Lol. I didn't reach home until like 7.30pm. Lol.
Omg, you know I said we having the 'Operation' on
3rd and 4th right??? Suddenly everyone seems to like those dates!
ARGH. ROD may be on 4th and 5th.(If I had my way I'd make
it 5th and 6th!) but we have to coordinate the best dates for
everyone so I'll comprimise. Lol. Then the HS Conference thing
is on 4th and 5th! It's like, damn, all clash.
Sigh. I hate being busy sometimes.
Oh well. You know my sis got Eagles Award, $100 included.
She already spent $50 on SIMS2 Apartment Life.
OMG. Damn funnn. Yeah. I was addicted to it yesterday.
I played until 3 am last night. I kinda forgot to check the time.
Lol. But it's damn cool anyway. I'm waking up early tomorrow
morning to run. Then I'll come home, shower and bake cookies!
Yay. Ok. Gotta sleep now.

Labels: life

Labels: life

Just came back from Elizabeth and Michael's
birthday party. Haha.
It was quite hilarious.
We managed to plan our 'Operation'
Haha. So I'm busy on the 3rd and 4th December!
Haha. Its gonna be a blast.
Oh yeah. Elizabeth passed to me this year's
A Math paper 2, Core Geog Paper 1 and 2
and Social Studies 'O' level paper! Haha.
Lol. I wanna do it soon. I mean, the questions
on topics that I've already learnt obviously.
Lol. AND AND AND I've got my Confirmation dressss!
FINALLLY right. I got it from M)phosis It's gorgeous.
But I've got to wea a small jacket over of course.
Which I also managed to get from the same place.
I'M RELIEVEDDD. Now I can help Geraldine
shop for hers. Lol. Sigh. Confirmation retreat soon.
Damn ex. $100.crazy. Lol. ok. I gotta sleep.
I wanna bake.

Labels: life

Just came back from the
Andrew and Grace Home 10th Anniversary Dinner.
Maybe you've heard of them?
It's a home for troubled girls.
It's really amazing, some of these girls stories.
One girl used to traffic drugs, now she's a police constable.
Andrew and Grace are good friends of my parents.
Lol. It was a pretty big dinner. 100 tables.
Lol. It was interesting. I feel as if I ate too much though.
Ugh. Anyway, I think I'll go vegetarian for a week or something.
I haven't been avoiding chicken and pork enough.
Or peanuts and soya products.
I do memorise what I can't eat.
Vegeables and fruit are good. No wheat either.
Rice is fine. Bread's not good actually.
Oh well, things to do during these holidays:

-Bake tons of double chocolate chip cookies
-buy black nail polish.
-Curl my hair
-Finish my holiday homework
-Finish composing 'Like Butterflies'
-Compose more songs with Tomato Jam
-Make Tomato Jam
-Buy shoes
-Take approximately 200 photographs.
-Perfect Fancy Drills performance
-Throw a dummy rifle without saying 'OMG' after.
-Save $200
-Do something Outrageously Crazy

There. Done. I'm being ambitious. I know.

Labels: life

I'm upset.
And troubled.
No wait. I'm not.
I will not make things more complicated
than they actually are.
ok...I don't think I convinced myself very well.
I have edited the chords for the song AGAIN.
I want it to sound realllllyyyyy good. :D
Haha.
I'm frustrated with the dress code for confi camp.
Who wears jeans to a camp?
Not me.
So naturally, I've already voiced my opinions
concerning this through email.
Lol.
I'm hungry.
But I won't eat. Not now anyway,
its 12 midnight.
I'm tired. really. I don't know why.
And I am worried. But I won't tell you why.
And I am sad. But I think you know why.
time to go...

Did you really think I was okay with it?

Labels: life

I don't want to cry.
I don't know how long its been,
I don't want to remember.
I'm still wishing I would see you somewhere.
So I could see your feelings in your eyes,
when you look at me.
So maybe I'd find out,
That you're hurting as bad.
I haven't cried.
Not a tear.
I'm not believing it. Not yet.
I let the days wash by me like they never happened.
I just want you back.
I don't know why, everything that mattered to me,
is slipping past, like I didn't hold on tighter.
I don't know why I am the way I am.
I pull myself into knots,
hiding away in a corner so I'm invisible,
And the world assumes I'm fine,
Just because I'm smiling in my profile picture.
There was a pause there.
I was in the midst of composing a song.
I've hit a problem though.
Where was I.
You know, I think I don't deserve happiness.
I mean, it seems like I can't handle it.

Labels: life

Like butterflies is the title of my song,
I think most probably I can finish it. (:
Lol.
BEN&JERRY.
Nvm. Haha. S.T.C. got sooo many scandals now!
I won't say them out lah.
Not so mean, getting permission from everyone
involved will alrd be too much work.
Lol. It keeps my mind off...other things.
I'm thankful for it.
I'm gonna sleep soon
I think.
I dunno what I even feel like doing.
Ok. I'm gonna stop making sense any second now.

Labels: life

Where was I. Oh YEAH.
During area cleanup, Dark knight was
assigned to clean the foyer.
Mop the floors and all.
We finished early :D
So we went to help the people
clean tent sheets.
28 tents, each tent has a ground sheet,
outer sheet and an inner sheet.
that makes 84 sheets to wash, dry and fold.
Unfortunately, almost all the sheets were folded wrongly,
So a bunch of us, ALL GIRLS, practically refolded everything
Under the blazing hot sun, and those tent sheets,
ARE HEAVY, I think we all got partially dehydrated.
And immediately after that we had telematch(!@#$%?)
Florence ma'am could tell we were dying lol.
But it was a good camp. I had fun.
Haha. Luckily vans brought us back to the jetty!
Lol. I love Dark Knight.
I think I really had a lot of fun with the group for once.
Last year was like awkward, I dunno why.
This year was just great.
Apart from the mosquito bites of course.
Lol.
We gave our flag to Florence ma'am.
Haha. So she can remember us.
Maybe she gave half to Jason sir?
Lol. Anyway.
I have a conclusion to make though,
male cadets and female cadets are really different.
For one, we're more obedient.
LOL!
oh yeah. Florence ma'am's favourite song.
Which is stuck in my head. Since we had to
sing it soooo many times.

Train to be a leader to fight for our land,
Once in our lives,
Four years of our time,
Have you ever wondered,
Why must we serve,
Because we love our unit,
And want it to be first,
To be first,

Stand up, and be on your guard,
Come on everybody,
Let's do our part,
Do it for the unit,
Do it for the unit,
Do it for the unit,

Children having fun,
We are holding guns,
Have you ever wondered,
Why must we serve,
Must serve.

Not real guns duh,
Dummy rifles. Lol.
Its meaningful though.
But in CGS we can only sing it on POP.
So I'll make sure we do that :D

Labels: life

I'm back from STC in Pulau Ubin.
Lol, I have all the mosquito bites to prove it
Haha. Horrible. I counted,
On both my arms together,
there's about 90.
DAMNNNN itchy cannnn.
Oh well. Dark Knight is da bomb.
Haha, not the movie. My group name for
STC was Dark Knight. We won best group in Sec3
:D haha. On the first day I kinda wanted to die.
I was well, pretty much regretting that I had gone.
AND on the first night I hardly slept!
Maybe about 2 hrs only.
Mosquitos buzzing in my ears,
One of my tentmates snoring,
my feet itching like crazzyyy.
You tell me, how to sleep?
Impossible. The 5 of us in the tent were fully
awake by like 4+ aM. BY accident okk.
Lol. Jumped jetti jump twice.
Slept in the foyer, for second night.
Haha. Cos, ahem, our tent was invaded with ants.
Lol. Ok. I need to sleep. More tomorrow

Labels: life

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