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VICTORIA Hannah Kirsten051093
Catholic Junior College
life.sandprints@hotmail.com
Recovery
Wednesday, December 10, 2008 , 12:27:00 AM
↑
I've finally started listening to the people around me.
Well, not all the people. But some.
You know, the cycle I've been talking about?
I broke it. I changed its course.
But the train is fighting to get back on the track.
Unfortunately, it's on a mission to go
straight to a bad ending like always,
And its just yearning to repeat itself over and over again.
So that one day, I may not be able to take it anymore.
But I'm changing that.
I learnt something from my mistakes.
When you've tried so many times,
and gotten the same disappointing results,
It's time to rethink your plan,
and start over again.
I realised, its simple enough,
Once I've got hold of these two aspects of me,
which have been responsible for my mistakes mostly.
1. Feelings
2. Imagination
A terrible combination.
Gives you an illusion of a fairytale,
and leads you straight to your worst nightmare.
Yes, I'm being harsh with myself.
But hey, it's self-inflicted, I'll live with it.
But I do wonder sometimes,
If I'm being a little too dramatic.
A psychiatrist could probably tell me that.
Once and again, I ponder the possibility of consulting one.
No harm really, it might help.
But not a counsellor.
A psychiatrist.
I'm going overseas this friday until tuesday.
At least thats the plan right now.
To the person I was talking to this afternoon,
If I don't want to answer a question, stop asking.
If I'm not telling you something,
It probably has nothing to do with you,
I have a reason for saying everything I say.
And you'll know why I told you,
I was being oblivious to my surroundings,
if you read the paragraph below this one.
Today, my dog died.
we put him to sleep because he was miserable.
He was in pain, and he had no value of life anymore.
He couldn't run, bark, even lifting his head was a chore.
I didn't say goodbye. I didn't follow them to the vet.
I couldn't. It's much easier when you don't see it happen.
It's more like he vanished.
I didn't want to cry.
I didn't want to know what was happening.
I'd rather have the feeling that he vanished.
A story rudely interrupted is sometimes better than to have an end.
I don't know who or what I sound like in this post.
But it isn't my usual rants or reports.
There's just something different about today.
I'm recovering I think, in more ways than just my physical injuries.
Well, not all the people. But some.
You know, the cycle I've been talking about?
I broke it. I changed its course.
But the train is fighting to get back on the track.
Unfortunately, it's on a mission to go
straight to a bad ending like always,
And its just yearning to repeat itself over and over again.
So that one day, I may not be able to take it anymore.
But I'm changing that.
I learnt something from my mistakes.
When you've tried so many times,
and gotten the same disappointing results,
It's time to rethink your plan,
and start over again.
I realised, its simple enough,
Once I've got hold of these two aspects of me,
which have been responsible for my mistakes mostly.
1. Feelings
2. Imagination
A terrible combination.
Gives you an illusion of a fairytale,
and leads you straight to your worst nightmare.
Yes, I'm being harsh with myself.
But hey, it's self-inflicted, I'll live with it.
But I do wonder sometimes,
If I'm being a little too dramatic.
A psychiatrist could probably tell me that.
Once and again, I ponder the possibility of consulting one.
No harm really, it might help.
But not a counsellor.
A psychiatrist.
I'm going overseas this friday until tuesday.
At least thats the plan right now.
To the person I was talking to this afternoon,
If I don't want to answer a question, stop asking.
If I'm not telling you something,
It probably has nothing to do with you,
I have a reason for saying everything I say.
And you'll know why I told you,
I was being oblivious to my surroundings,
if you read the paragraph below this one.
Today, my dog died.
we put him to sleep because he was miserable.
He was in pain, and he had no value of life anymore.
He couldn't run, bark, even lifting his head was a chore.
I didn't say goodbye. I didn't follow them to the vet.
I couldn't. It's much easier when you don't see it happen.
It's more like he vanished.
I didn't want to cry.
I didn't want to know what was happening.
I'd rather have the feeling that he vanished.
A story rudely interrupted is sometimes better than to have an end.
I don't know who or what I sound like in this post.
But it isn't my usual rants or reports.
There's just something different about today.
I'm recovering I think, in more ways than just my physical injuries.
Labels: life
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