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I just realised that I talk to myself
more than I talk to anyone else.
Like I talk to my self in my head.
Thats why I can actually be silent for
a really long time, cos technically,
I'm used to having just myself to talk to.
Well, I do it more at home.
Cos there isn't exactly any one of my
family members that I can really talk to.
That means that I've been doing it
way more these past two months or so.
But more often than not, during the
time which I'm talking to myself,
I'm either contradicting myself or
making myself unnecessarily confused
about something. Geez.
That would mean that it'll be much
safer if I was talking to other people.
See. I just did it again. Cos what I've typed,
is really like a conversation in my head,
but less complicated.

You know, I figured out one of the reasons
I'd prefer seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist
rather than a counsellor.
Cousellors try to mother you, give you their
sympathy or whatever. I don't want that.
Therapists and psychiatrists are more business-like.
Makes me feel safer. Dunno why.
Well, thats what I think only. Might be wrong.
Well, before seeing any kind of whatever,
I'd better write up a confidentiality contract.
I don't need any leaks of my personal life to anyone.
ANYONE and EVERYONE.
No one needs to know.
I've probably got more secrets than you can
possibly think of.

I bought a pair of jeans today.
Damn nice pair.
And my wardrobe is exploding.

And you know what, my parents take me too seriously.
I'm starting to hate myself.
That's bad right?
So what comes after hating yourself?

Labels: life

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