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I'M BACKKKKK.
AND I'M DEAD BORED.
Lets see.
Things I did this year:
1.Co-hosted a new years day party.
2.Got 10 points for 'O's (with bonus points)
3.Went for poly open houses
4.Went for CJ open house
5.Hung out at Beatrice's place
6.Had people over at my place twice
7.Started doing my 1000 piece puzzle again
8.Went bowling
9.DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Yes, so far 2010 has been absolutely idle for me.
Two days ago, I fell in love with Tokio Hotel (and Bill Kaulitz).
Super random, dunno how it started.
But yeah so I've been talking about it non-stop
for the past two days. And today my dad goes and meets
the production manager for Muse, since Muse is coming
to S'pore and my dad sells stage systems and his boss
asked him to go meet the guy. And they were talking, and my
dad finds out that this same guy is the production manager
for TOKIO HOTEL. Is that crazy? Yes it absolutely is.
And so my dad mentions that I love Tokio Hotel, and the
guy says he'll arrange for some Tokio Hotel stuff (tees and whatnot)
and he'll give it to my dad!!! Crazy shit ok.
I love my dad's job, really. He doesn't know the celebs, but
doesn't matter since they aren't the ones that take of this kinda stuff.
Like the SingFest thing. I would have never been able to go
without the free tickets. :D
Crazy stuff. My dad is psychic. Really.
Anyway. School supposedly starts next week.
Yay. I needa do something, homework maybe.
I've been rotting. Its almost 2am.
I've started my acute-daydreaming again.
Thats bad, really bad.
A desperate cry for reality.

A bit late but oh well, I'm bored.
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS!:
1.Have self-discipline
2.Pass chinese regularly
3.Lose 5kg?
4.Save $300
5.Better my guitar skills
6.Ace piano grade 8

Decisions scare me. Badly.
And I never handle it well.
I don't think many people can tie
themselves into a big damned knot
every time they have to make a big
decision. You know what, I'm scared
to death about 'O' level results.
You know whats the worse kind of
big decision to make? The kind that
has only two options and the one
that you choose affects all the people
involved negatively. And you know
what, I just made one of those decisions.
And I am lost. People are angry with
me which is evoking, so far, no reaction
from me because it is absolutely new.
I'm not used to people being angry with
me, not this way. I'm not used to making
people sad or letting people down. So its
unintentional, but it doesn't change the
fact that I did. Its difficult to deal with.
People need me, but I need me. And I
need to stop talking. This isn't helping.
I need to go to church. Talk to God.
Kneel at a pew for an hour. I dunno.
Something.

The first thing I felt like doing,
was tearing the notes up.
The second I felt like doing,
was giving the uniform all back to
them and saying, "you know what,
I changed my mind, thanks to
you guys, and I'm not coming back."

I say no more.

I have been having a headache,
for almost a week. It never goes away,
always in the background. and it
hurts. I'm exhausted. And all I wanna
do now is go for prom and have the
most awesomest time and forget all
the crap thats been hitting me in the face.

I wanna write a book.
I wanna compose a song.
I wanna act in a movie.
I wanna dance in a recital.
I wanna throw everything out the window,
tell everyone goodbye, and sneak out the door.

I am exhausted.
I've been out everday since tuesday,
except thursday. i spent wednesday,
friday, saturday and today shopping.
For the whole day. Yesterday was
an all-day birthday party and
thursday, I spent playing xbox, with a
couple of church people.

You know what, I don't want my
life to change. I don't want to have to
adapt to a JC, to make new friends.
I don't want to have to decide whether
or not I really want to become a CI
and go nuts because my brain can't
settle on one decision. I don't want to
explain myself anymore. I don't want
to have my way of thinking be ridiculed
by my own parents. Yes, its weird,
Yes you probably don't get why anyone
would think like that, but guess what,
I do.

I don't know what I want. Which is why
I can't and don't want to decide. It's like
being told to pick your meal before you've
even decided on a restaurant. Absolutely,
impossible.

This not helping, nothing is.

Everyone has answers to my every question,
but everyone is biased in some way or another.
NP people would want me to go back because
the CCA needs to be saved. My parents
probably don't want me back cos hey, its been
quite obvious that they've never agreed on
any choice I've made regarding NP ever. Zh
wants be to go back to accompany her?
I dunno.

I don't like it when people ask my own questions
back at me.

I've found the things I can't stand.
Repeating myself, explaining myself/ my actions.
Not getting answers.

When both sides are wearing the same armor,
how do you tell them apart? By listening to the
hearts that are in sync with yours.

you know, when I'm feeling sad or happy
or whatever and I wanna talk to someone,
or I just need to talk to someone, I think
of all the people I know, and not a single
name pops into my head. I draw an
immediate blank.

I am pathetic aren't I?

At this moment, right now,
I am conflicted.
There are two things, I need to
think about. One, which has a very
close deadline, and the other, which
fortunately has not presented a
deadline and has no reason to.
I hate decisions, like the big ones.
ARGH. I dunno what to do.

HIATUS IS OVER! haha.
My 'O's officially ended today.
Though I haven't exactly reacted
to that fact yet.
I've permed my hair. HAHA.
It's for prom but gosh it feels WEIRD.
Haha still. I'M GOING SHOPPING
TOMORROW. YAY. For my dress of
course. Ok. I'm out.

You know, I just typed out a blog post
that sounded so emo and angsty that
I deleted it. AND I almost slapped
myself.

Lets just say, I'm about to have
a breakdown.

I graduated from secondary school today.
Yup. Honestly I don't know what to say.
Four years, over and done. Sigh.
I think one of the best parts of today is
when my clique planned a surprise
belated birthday celebration for me.
AH. I LOVE THEM. They're super awesome.
AND I officially had my third cake for
this birthday. :D They gave me an awesome
backpack, which I'm gonna use right away.
AND pink and white striped bra and underwear
LOL. They're really crazy. And they SIGNED
on the underwear! Lol. Anyway, I don't really
know what to type about today, I'm too
lazy to relate the whole event. And I'm
sleepy too. Ahh. Forget it, I'm bored.

Labels: life

It's my birthday today!
My sweet sixteen!
I never imagined myself sixteen
I always used to see sixteen year olds
and go, "Wow, sixteen." Well look,
here I am.

I had school today...as usual ):
My classmates sang me happy birthday
in the canteen and made me a
makeshift cake. A muffin, with yakult
straws as candles. Haha, we're celebrating
on friday. After school I went to study
in church with Fred and Nick Neo.
Then I stopped by Tessa's house to
return her her geog tb. We talked for a bit.
Then I came home, chionged dinner and
went to the clubhouse for my mini-celebration :D
It was me, Glen, Beatrice and Justin. Haha,
They bought me a mango cheesecake!
Haha. It was really great and really dense.
AND we finished it. Glen almost puked.
It was fun though. and I loved it despite its
supposed simplicity, it was great! :D

Yesterday, my parents brought me to
eat dinner at Angus House, its this steak
place in Taka. Actually its like a fine dining
place. Like with different cutlery and
different courses. There was hors d'oeuvres,
it was fish, really good. Then mushroom soup,
then a salad with a japanese dressing. Followed
by tenderloin steak and finished off with tiramisu.
I was absolutely stuffed, as I am right now.

I do want to thank everyone who wished me
happy birthday or celebrated it with me, no matter
how small the celebration because right now, this
is a really anxious time for everyone so all efforts
are appreciated! :D
So, THANK YOU :D

You know what pisses me off,
not getting angry.
Why is it that just because I never
get angry, there must be something
wrong with me when I do? Doesn't
everyone get angry?? The last I
checked it was completely normal.
But no, apparently its abnormal for me.

I'm gonna rant about my sister now
because I need to. And I couldn't care
less if she reads it. In fact, I hope she
does. With her its like if she gets angry
she expects everyone to accept it and
no one is allowed to fault her even if
she's wrong. But if my mum, or my dad
or I get angry with her she blows up.
She starts spouting the most ridiculous
rubbish on earth. Like she knocks over
my mum's cup of drink and SHE gets
angry with my mum. Or my mum
scolds her for something that happened
between her and my youngest sis and she'll
say, "See lah, Nicole getting me into trouble
again." AHEM, Nicole's 8, she's 13. I find it
hard to believe that Nicole is evil. And she's
never given any proof of Nicole's alleged
evilness anyway. Every morning my parents
have to shout themselves half to death to
try and wake her up and that pisses me off.
Doesn't she ever think of anyone but herself?
She doesn't care that she stresses my parents
out so much. my mum packs up her desk and
within 2 days, its completely devastated. Her
desk is a nightmare. My mum spends hours
on it and she can't even keep it clean for a
week?? Worse still, she scolds my mum if
she can't find something. Everytime she's
angry we have to bear with it but the super
rare times that I actually get angry, she acts
as if I'm not allowed to get angry. She goes
like, "What is wrong with you. So grumpy."
doesn't sound that bad until you hear it in
her tone of voice. Like acid. She's the only
one that doesn't care that I hate getting
angry and by emphasizing that I am, it
makes me more pissed off. She always makes
herself the victim. YEAH RIGHT. Most of the
time, she's the only one in the wrong.
She almost never says she's sorry. She's so
quick to defend herself that she's probably lying
without knowing it. She gets into a huge fight
with my parents and acts completely normal
a couple of hours later like she never did
anything wrong, she's completely unaffected
when everyone else was. She borrows stuff
and never gives it back. The other day, I
borrowed a stick glue from her and she told
me straight off that she didn't know where the
cap was, I said ok and tried to use the half
dried up glue the best that I could. A couple
of days later she comes to me demanding for
it, when I give it to her capless, she goes.
"Where's the cap!" in a super angry voice.
I explain calmly that she gave it to me without.
and the next thing she says is the best. "You
could have asked for the cap!" I was like blank.
Didn't she say she couldn't find it? It made
absolutely no sense. Then she went on to say,
"See lah, how am I supposed to use it now that
its all dried up!" EXCUSE ME, who was the one
that lost the cap! See what I mean. Do something
wrong, blame everyone else. It makes no sense.
I've tried to understand why she's like that.
Why she can't see that when she gets angry
she's no better than a drunkard, making no
sense, blaming the world. And she denies
everything. I wanna help her get out of
her extreme behavior, its been manifested since
she could talk, but its been absolutely impossible.
I don't know what to do. And I just hate the
way she treats her family. Surprise, surprise,
she's an angel to her friends.

On another note, I hate it when people get an
L1R5 of 10 for prelims and they're upset
because it ISN'T A SINGLE DIGIT. Wtf.

Labels: life

Catch yourself before you fall,
or you're sure to hit the ground.

Be cautious in case the road ends,
before you expect it.

Don't walk off the plank, if you're
unsure if there are sharks.

Hold on to what you've got,
you never know when it might leave.

But don't hold on too tight,
if not, it will definitely leave.

Life without love,
isn't a life at all.

Someone told me the other day,
that depression is merely a form of
self-centeredness. I absolutely agree.
And stress is merely a socially-acceptable
form of a mental illness.

Everyone needs someone.

I JUST READ BLOOD PROMISE.
Yeah yeah, I gave in. My mum actually
suggested that I should read it, so I
wouldn't be bugged about it anymore.
BUT I'M GOING CRAZY NOW.
*warning this post contains spoilers.
(don't read this post if you haven't
read the book and are planning to)
I really really didn't expect all of that
stuff. There were two problems going
on at the same time. One was Lissa's
and of course Rose's. It was absolutely
crazy. Its like, it ended then it didn't,
the it ended then it didn't! THEN IT
ENDED AND THEN IT DIDN'T.
Ok, I just sounded crazy. Nevermind.
But I'm surprised that I liked the way it
turned out. Christian and Lissa broke up,
Adrian's gonna seriously try to start
dating Rose, and if she agrees to, well,
I think I really don't mind. Dimitri isn't
dead but he is full-fledged Strigoi and
obviously, he's loving it. So the tables
have turned, he's hunting Rose down now.
To kill her. But they've heard something
of a "fairytale" that can turn strigoi back,
I mean Rose knows and told Lissa. So the
Dimitri problem is very VERY unsolved
at the moment. Damn. I HAVE TO WAIT
ALMOST A YEAR FOR THE NEXT BOOK.
I've never chased a book series before.
It's really frustrating. I love Adrian Ivashkov.
Dimitri as a Strigoi doesn't stick well with
me so as long as he's still one, well I'm an
Adrian Ivashkov fan now. CAN'T BELIEVE
HE'S NOT DEAD. ARGH.

I'm gonna try and put in some serious
studying tomorrow. But right now, my brain
feels like it's gonna fizzle out. I've read for
almost 5 hours straight. It's really exhausting.

Labels: life

Prelims are over for me. Yeah, I'm the lucky ass.
Lol. Majority of my level still has chem tomorrow
and those retaking MT have the prelim on friday.

I seriously have to stop watching romance movies.
They make me more sad than anything. Still, my
favourite movie is still A Cinderella Story. I must
have watched it over 20 times already. So the
quality's not the best, its a pretty old movie but
hey, it gives me a little hope that some fairytales
come true. I really need a fairytale. Or a miracle,
either's fine. You know what, I just had a thought.
I don't think I'd ever find a romantic Singaporean
guy. Like sheesh, what kind of a proposal is, "eh,
wanna go buy HDB flat?" I'd slap the guy if he said
that. Yes, I'm a terrible romantic. But seriously,
why aren't guys like that anymore. Ok, maybe
some are, but they're a severe minority I think.

I'll stop ranting now. But really, is it so much to
ask for a guy to be romantic? LOL.

Labels: life

When you meet people online, what's your first thought?
Me I wonder how old they are. Then I wonder where
they're from. I'm talking about rpgs so you don't see
their faces or their names or whatever. Its really
interesting. The best way to get research on youths
around the world. I mean they could be lying but
they must have gotten their lies from somewhere right?
Lol. Like peer pressure or whatever. Imagine being
in a semi-chatroom listening to people from the halfway
around the world talking about how they do pot and
they love it and they drink, and they wish they were
drunk. and they take sleeping pills to get high and they're
all either presently gay, have been gay or are bi. From
where I'm sitting, its interesting. I'm not gonna get into
that stuff. (EWW) I mean that's why I see people talk
about it, cos I'm never gonna do that stuff. Scary shit.
And they aren't all from the same country so its kinda
like a wider perspective. Is all that shit fun????
Honestly I find it a BIG turn-off. Not cool. It's slow
suicide anyway. I'd rather be called pure and innocent
for the rest of my life. I dunno how much of that stuff
is done around here. It'll be interesting to find out.
But I haven't met a single Singaporean yet. Mostly all
from the northern hemisphere. I feel as if I should
write an essay now. Damn SBQs, won't leave me alone.

Labels: life

Who's to say, I haven't lost control?
There's a good chance, I have.
And I hear what they say.
No, I am not the best.
Stereotyped yes.
one piece of good news,
expected of the rest.

Delusional, they are.
Illusions that comfort, but are blind.
You tell yourself you'll survive,
But you won't.
Suppose there was hope. Good.
Not many are so lucky.
Like myself, for example.

Perish evil thoughts!
So I may see a clear path.
Victory lies beyond the black gates.
My head pounds hard, does yours?
A piece of mind picked out,
too much to fear, ergo you,
will fall in failure.

Labels: life, poems

Army Open House 2009!
HAHA.
Yes yes, I went yesterday.
With Zhuang Hua, Jiaxuan, Andrea, Rubini, Zakiah, Vivien and Hazwani.
It was pretty awesome. We got to climb
into the the vehicles and stuff and we
watched a simulated terrorist attack, with the
tanks and everything, firing blanks of course.
But damn, it was LOUD. I think most soldiers
go deaf in the end. Gunshots are scarily loud.
I really had no idea that they were THAT loud.
Anyway, we got to take photos with some
soldiers! HAHA. But we didn't get to do the
live firing :'( sighh...nevermind, there's always next year :D We saw the SAF Drama and Music people again! The awesome beat boxer, Dharni, who I found out was actually Singapore's rep at a word beat boxing comp.
Really amazing stuff. Anyway, I think that
if Singapore ever wanted to send anyone to
rep our country in singing or whatever, they
should send the SAF Drama and Music Company.
They're better than the Singapore Idols anyway.
Lol. We had dinner after that at Jurong point, during the dinner hour! BIG mistake, it was crazily crowded. But we managed to get a place at Macs. Yeah, then MRT-ed alllll the way home.
I reached home around 10. Anyway, that's the most excitement I've had in a while. Gonna crash, waking up early tomorrow.

Labels: life

ITS BUGGING ME.
Haha, luckily, I've roped in help.
*Laughs evily*
Sigh, I need to get more help.
ALTHOUGH, I've discovered something interesting.
But I've told myself not to jump to
conclusions cos well, I could be wrong :D
HAHA.
I've already done a brilliant job in
restraining myself from killing him.

Labels: life

A quick word!
AHHHH.
It's so frustrating you know!
Sigh but I'm trying my best to keep
an open mind, so I won't be like
expecting anyone in particular,
cos then I could be disappointed. Lol.
Anyway, AHHH
I've got 5 papers left.
A math paper 1 and 2,
geog paper 2 ,
physics paper 1 and 2.
Yup.

AHHH.
Prelims are coming soonnn.
Argh.
Anyway.
Passing comments:
Drag queens freak me out.
Ew.
I LOVE child singers.
I mean the ones that can really sing.
Like Hollie Steel and Ciana Pelekai.
Amazing. Really, they're pure talent.
I think I just like children lol.

And I have a realisation,
Singapore kids don't have enough
self-confidence and charisma,
in general of course. There are some that
do. Only wish there were more.
Cos then if we ever had Singapore's Got
Talent, we'd really see some talent.
Singapore needs to develop more on
that aspect. I think its really brilliant that
we have academically brilliant kids, my
mum was telling me about the three
Singaporeans who topped Oxford, but
are they the people that you remember?
Well, unless they're becoming the next
Einstein, I guess. But you know whats funny,
We might have lotsa future Einsteins,
but definitely no future Leonardo Da Vincis.
Its the whole Arts VS. Sciences thing.

I think we're way too academic. Its
unbalanced you know. Not everyone is a
genius in science. Because of all that, I think,
A LOT of other Singaporean talents are lost.
Arts related careers are so highly discouraged
that even kids who had potential to become
amazing artists (Singers, dancers e.g.) had no
chance to develop on their talent. And I think
its sad that we may not be known for anything
else than our math textbooks and scholars.

That's all boring don't you think?
Brilliant sure, but not exciting!
I know a lot of amazing dancers and singers my
age and stuff but none of them would get a
chance to do what they love. Simply because
there's absolutely no industry for it here.
I'm not going against the PAP or anything,
I'm just thinking that there are other ways to
make ourselves known in this huge world
around our little red dot and we have yet to
try it all. Any you never know unless you try
right? Precisely.

That's my last note.

Hello people.
So, today was the release of the Chinese 'O' level
results!!
I swear a miracle happened because:
1.I PASSED.
2.I got a B4!
I don't even pass normally so this is really way out.
Yeah, I started crying once I knew cos I was really
scared that I failed or something. But I was really
happy that I DIDN'T fail so I started crying.
Congrats to eveyone who got their As! :D Haha.
Crescent has like 70% distinction for chinese,
and that's really scary. Yeah well, I'm happy with
what I got and I'm not retaking. :D
Yup. So that's it for now.
English 'O' level oral tomorrow :D

Hello world.
A new chapter of my life has begun.

Cliche much?
Yes.

But it is true. Before I launch into
a very exciting day, I think I might be
mildly narcoleptic although my mum won't
listen to any of my theories. My falling
asleep problem is really driving me nuts
and I just wish there was a medical
explanation for it you know? Then I'd know
I could have it treated of something. Right
now I have no idea how to stop it.

Ok now on to the story.
We celebrated Vanessa's birthday today,
her actual birthday's on tuesday. So we
did a dinner thing at SICC. All the cousins
+ 3 of her friends, Samantha, Sabrina and
Amelia. So we did the dinner thing and then
we went downstairs to bowl. That was the plan
anyway. We were bowling halfway and then
Samantha was talking about how her god brothers
family was in SICC too. (they're all members and
stuff) Then the four of them started freaking
out. I dunno why. Must be the prospect of guys
or something. Anyway, ness told me about these
guys before, Jonathan and Justin. And Jonathan
is the vice-head of council of St. Gabs. and he
knows Ivan. So the family eventually came down
to the bowling alley. I was talking to ness
and I mentioned that Ivan was cute, I mean
he's not bad looking right? But it doesn't
mean I like LIKE him. Nah, not my type. And ness
threatened to tell Jonathan that I said that.
So I said fine. and I dared her to do it to
his face and in front of me. -_- and she did.
Its not like it was some deep dark secret
of mine. After she told him we started talking.
General stuff, like school, 'O's blah blah,
common topic nowadays. Yup. He's a really nice
guy, reminds me of Seow. Funny and all that.
So that was really unexpected. Cos by the time
their family came around all the cousins had
left already. So we were the only ones our
age there. The nearest was his brother, who's
sec2. That was fun, I haven't met anyone new
in ages.

I did more than four hours of e math today.
Sigh and I'm still not done! I'm behind in
some homework. Like english morning practices
and some MORE e math homework. And I have an
A math paper to do. I need to start studying
my humanities too. I freaking out ok. prelims
are in 10 days. I am really freaking out.
I think I'm going to drop chemistry.
Lets say I do drop chem, this is my aim for
prelims.
English: A1
E math: A1
A math: A1
Physics: B4
Geog: B3
SS/Lit: B3
L1R5: 13 points.
Wish me luck, I'll need it.

Just before I leave:
Over it, over you.

Labels: life, school

Had a pretty eventful weekend. Yup.
I had lunch with the class clique,
all 13 of us. Haha. Ate at BK. It was
really quite crazy. Then I went home,
studied for a bit and went out at 3.30
to watch G.I. Joe with my cousins and my
sis. G.I. Joe is really really brilliant.
It's the kind of movie you've GOT to watch
in a cinema. The effects just gotta be seen
on a giant screen. Yeah, it was like a mash
up of all brilliant action movies!
Haha The G.I. Joe almost look like Transformers,
Rex had a mask that had Voldemort's nose but
made him sound like Darth Vader and there were
weapons that sounded like they came out of
Start Wars or Halo. Lol. It was totally worth my
$8.50 Okkk...Saturday. Hmmm...I can't remember.
Oh, went bowling. I had a slight mental breakdown
there, but I don't wanna think about it.
Saturday night at Grandma's house. I was studying
mostly, Tessa too since her CTs start tomorrow.
Sunday was interesting, to say the least.
Church was exceptionally full. Lunch at Ikea was
alright, I won't go into details. We wanted to
take a look at some 3-cushion thing, but it hadn't
come in yet. Lol. Then we went to the Honda showroom,
my parents wanted to look at the Honda Freed.
I think its kinda cute, although Ness hates it.
Lol. We went to Vivo after, I ACTUALLY wanted to
go look in Zara's up-to-70%-off sale, but Fox
caught my eye first. Did I mention I LOVE Fox?
I do. It rocks. Haha. They were having a storewide
half price sale! Haha. I bought 2 tops and a dress.
Ness bought a dress too, the exact same one! Haha
It'll be reallllyyyy funny if we wear it at the
same time. Ah well, she NEVER wanted to buy dresses
so since it was such a rare occurrence it didn't
matter. HAHA. Yeah, then I went over to Tangs to
look for a prom dress. I tried on a gorgeous
dress at Daniel Yam, but I didn't buy it, not yet.
I'm still thinking about it cos like my mum said,
Daniel Yam is quite common, so someone else might
buy it too. Which would be a HUGE disaster.
Lol. But it was gorgeous. Then we went ate at
White Dog Cafe. Omg, the food is GOOD. Yeap,
I recommend the place. I had a mocktail, hahaha.
Coconut and pineapple, my mum said it tasted like
suntan lotion. Lol, I liked it. National Day
Parade was...different, yeah, that's the only word
for it. Haha. It was alright. Yeah anyway,
I was a loner today, lol. Ness had friends over
and Nic was at her friend's house. Oh well,
back to school tomorrow. SIGHHHH

Labels: life

My head. Hurts.
I can't make up my mind whether or not to
drop chem. I dunno who to listen to.
I don't even have any thoughts of my own.
I want to be able to do it. To finish what I
started. Why be learning chem for two years
only to drop it just before the major exam?
But I don't know, if its too late.
I'm scarily close to 'O' levels. prelims
are two and a half weeks away. I'm freaking out.
I really want to do well. I really really
want to do well. I feel like breaking
something. Ah freak. You know, I needa lock
myself in a room full of books and
nothing else and just study.
I might get a mental breakdown though? No no.
I really don't like this.
My headaches aren't helping either.

Labels: life, school

ANDDDDD the dream has ended.
My parents won't let me get a nazar.
Whatever.
I am overwhelmed with math.
I'm doing so much math everyday that
my imagination is suffering. Too
much teachnical tuff has killed my
literary skills. Ah freak. One month
to prelims. Do you know how scary that is?
I'm really really terrified.
I wanna hide in some dark corner
and pretend its all a really bad nightmare.
I've got my new goal in life, well, apart
from getting married and having like 6 kids,
I wanna work in Resorts World Sentosa.
I don't mind even being a dealer in the Casinos.
Why not man. It'll be fun. But the most ideal
would be working in one of the six hotels
that are going to be there. Yup. New aim in
life. So what do I study in uni to get there then?
You can't study hospitality right? Sigh.

Labels: life

My birthday is approximately 2 months and a week away.
And I know exactly what I want! I want the limited edition
Blood Promise Bracelet. PROBLEM IS: since its LIMITED EDITION
its ALREADY SOLD OUT. So whoever it is that is getting it
for me (hint hint) has to go find it on ebay or amazon
OR convince the seller of the jewelery to make me one :D
OMG. I REALLY WANT IT. It even has a Molnija mark! ARGH.
For clueless people, its jewelery made based on the most
awesomest series ever, Vampire Academy Series! I really
really really want it so badly. Ok, another one is another
piece of jewelery by the same maker called Siberian Tears.
This gorgeous necklace has a Nazar like Rose's, but this
one isn't coming out for a few weeks yet so I'll check up
on it again. Yup, so those two are the top on my birthday
wishlist right now so anyone wanna contribute to the
VICTORIA BIRTHDAY PRESENT FUND? Haha, cos if I really get
them I'm getting them shipped from the US and they
aren't cheap to begin with. Real gemstones and all so
yup, I need funds :D

Labels: life

You know, I'm tired. And worried.
The homework I'm getting is insane.
I keep up with it. I'm wanting to get
consultations with teachers for questions
that I don't know, but how am I supposed
to do that when my whole day is ALLL
remedials such that I don't even have time
to get consultations. I feel like quitting
tuition. I know it sounds like a stupid
time to quit tuition but I feel as if I
need that extra time in school to get
consultations since that's the only that
DOESN'T have any remedials. Sigh. This
sucks.I wanted to quit one out of the three
lessons that I take a week but I could tell
that my tuition teacher was reluctant to let
me go. So ends up I didn't quit that lesson.
Well obviously he would be reluctant right,
he'd be losing money. Yeah, So I kinda dunno
what to do now. And I'm behind in all my
homework except E math. My A math is totally
screwed right now. Integration is driving me
nuts and I just can't get some of the answers
right which is WHY I need consultations.
Argh. I'm going nuts already. And I need to
do something quick. Also I feel as if my
tuition teacher has the wrong impression
of me. I have this feeling he thinks I'm a pro.
Which is bad, cause I'm far from that. I
really hate my schedule right now. It's
totally uncontrollable and everything is
compulsory you know? So I can't even decide
which to go for. Sighhhh. My prelims are
in a month. I am SO dead.

Labels: life, school

I feel weird.
Weird.
No other word

You know what I do when I'm sad?
I write letters.
To people. But I'd never post them.
I write with the intention of feeling
as if I'm talking to them.
It works sometimes.
Just sometimes.

Watched HP6 yesterday.
I liked it! Despite what my sis says.
I think its one of the better HP movies.
And Tom Felton is pure hotness.
He appeared in this movie a lot!
Which is great. Too bad he won't be
around much in the last two movies.

Damn its monday.
I hate sunday nights you know?
And I love friday nights.
You know, I don't like school much.
The lessons part anyway.

Labels: life

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